Clothes for the Discerning Cock

I was sitting behind my desk, looking over things **pictures I had found of some delicious new tribal members... with the oh so hot bodies... with sweat dripping... oh right... focus** when Ms. Joey walked into the Hussy office with a look of wild amazement on her face...
I knew she was up to something... We have been hanging around each other too long...
I knew she was up to something.
"I have an idea," she busted out immediately. And she was not stopping till it was all out....
"I am going to take over your blog for the day! You know, give you a break." Hummmm, my mind soon wondered. She is a woman of many tricks up her sleeve. Do not let that "girl next door look" fool you no... She is a devil in sheep's clothing! I know ~ I read her books!
"And just what do you want to do with the blog today," I asked.

"Oh you know... just chat with the ladies," she was up to something. But I adore her so much that ~ yep you guessed it... I handed over the Hussy Lair to Ms. Joey.

((In exchange for this day.... I get Gideon for a day... OH YEA HUBBA HUBBA!!!!!))

So, ladies please continue to welcome Ms. Joey to the Hussy Lair!!!
So, grab something strong to drink,
~Oh, ps... Lucien will be your server today - hope you do not mind~

~~Oh and some others may pop in~~
Find a comfy chair, sit back and let Ms. Joey entertain!!

Yep, you read that title correctly. I’m typically quite low key in my interviews, blogging, etc. After all, I write erotic romance that every review seems to preface with the warning “not for the faint of heart”; I don’t want to push it by making people faint in interviews/blog post as well (laughter).

However, I told Cecile I’d write about something “deliciously wicked”. Now sex is a sacred act, and I abhor the idea of being crude about it. But there is a fine line between crude and playful with the topic and that’s an interesting line to straddle. So, I decided “Clothes for the Discerning Cock” set just the right tone. Very classy vocabulary describing fashionable wear for the genitalia. Not to mention, it definitely catches the attention.

I stumbled upon this topic, because I really wasn’t sure what topic to choose. In typical brainstorming fashion, much as I do when I’m stuck on a scene, I started typing a hodgepodge of nonsense and this rotated to the top, the cream and marshmallows on the hot chocolate, so to speak. I was thinking there were topics big and small that fall into “deliciously wicked”, and yet small pleasures can be as intensely enjoyable as big ones. For instance, I thought I could do a whole thing about Tantric sex that would be complex and long, or I could devote a sentence or two to how Hugh Jackman looks in snug stockman pants in Australia. And voila, I figured out my topic. (Sorry, Tantric sex.)

Now, back to Hugh Jackman in Australia as my first example of proper clothing for the male organ. Apologies and no offense to Mr. Jackman for my intimate discussion of his groin area, because I think in addition to being sexy as hell, he is an outstanding and talented actor. Talent and beauty – when you have both, it’s perfect. Now, back to the pants again. Is it just me, or did those pants get even more Lycra in them as the movie went on? Goddess bless the textile industry.

I think it’s true that clothes enhance sexiness. You can show me a wholly naked man and I might either go “eek” or “eh”, depending. I mean, in the throes of passion, yes, a cock can be erotic and awe-inspiring. But from a purely visual standpoint, my eye is caught far more by how that attribute looks packaged beneath fabric. Put a man in a pair of jeans that fit just right, let them ride a little low on the waist, have him hook his thumb and take a cock-hipped stance, giving me a “dare me to be bad” stare, and you have my FULL attention. I’ve been a little obsessed with that look lately, because it’s one of Gideon’s favorite unconscious stances (the main character of Vampire Mistress and Vampire Trinity, mentioned in yesterday’s interview). And it always brings the devil out in Anwyn AND Daegan, the Mistress and Master with whom he’s currently involved, because they want to do things that take him down a peg or two. Or wring him out until he’s just a lean, loose-limbed naked feast between them in their bed.

There’s a hardware store near where I live, and in their garden area, they have two statues of Michelangelo’s David. Some well-meaning statuary company decided it was best not to have David’s relatively innocuous member hanging out for all to see, so they added an enhancement. Over his crotch he is sporting a bunch of grapes. Unfortunately, this is a LARGE bunch of grapes, so as you’re driving by, you glance right and all of a sudden do a double take at this huge, gray bulging mass between David’s legs. I think it might qualify as a traffic hazard. In short, David is attracting far more attention with the embellishment than he would with simply nothing but his average sized organ and testicles molded in unassuming gray concrete.

It reminds me of a movie John Ritter (a master of comedy) did so many years ago. I think it was Skin Deep. He dons a neon, glow-in-the-dark condom to enjoy a romantic moment with his girlfriend, but there’s been a mix up, and another lover of her sneaks into the darkened room, also having donned her favorite type of condom. In a different color of course. There ensues a hilarious, fall-in-the-floor, crying-with-laughter moment where the two are chasing each other around the totally pitch black room, nothing visible but the two organs clothed in two different shades of glow-in-the dark latex – appropriately bouncing about as they go over the bed and around chairs, etc.

I remember a few years’ back, watching one of those interesting Science or Discovery Channel documentaries. You know, the ones they show after 9pm because they’re about sex – the learning channels’ version of late night adult content (laughter). Anyhow, they were doing a study of the way the human body reacts to attraction, and one of the things they discussed was where the eyes are directed when a man and woman first meet (don’t think they were necessarily being homo-restrictive; they just had limited time to explore the issue and decided to focus on the traditional male-female pairing). Anyhow, a female usually looks at a man’s eyes first, then she looks at his groin. Entirely unplanned and unconscious. From there, it’s the chest, shoulders, etc. because it’s a primal thing to judge the suitability of his ability to protect her, breed with her to provide strong children, etc.

I was just amused to find the groin was the very second thing she would check out. So we can’t bash guys too much for the fact that the first thing they look at is... Does any woman REALLY not know what comes after the dot dot dot? Yes, you got it right. The elbows. Snort. NOT! Yes, it’s breasts, breasts, breasts. I guess he’s ensuring she’ll be able to nurse his young appropriately...ahem. As a side note, I do find it interesting that a woman looks at his eyes first—establishing whether she can trust him, I think (that’s obviously my opinion, not scientific fact).

Anyhow, so based on that, it’s no wonder that the fashionably aware think of great ways to mold the male groin. I like the nineties, which introduced the jeans that weren’t obviously snug, but still held him just right. Those are my favorites, versus of course the seventies where the jeans cut off circulation and probably caused him fertility problems – though a woman could determine if she was getting a circumcised male just by the impossibly tight fit, so there was that advantage (snort). However, don’t even get me started on the current trend of baggy, down-to-your knees jeans that show off his underwear. The only thing THAT tells me is that we should probably cease trying to reproduce all together until we all get a few more brain cells back.

Until then, I’ll go back to fantasizing about Gideon leaning in a doorway, just wearing those right-fitting jeans, with that hip-cocked stance. In most my books, I have a preference for that look, though in Beloved Vampire I went with the old-fashioned Victorian riding breeches for Lord Mason, because he was an old-fashioned guy, and his thighs and ass just looked too good in fawn-colored, snug breeches to pass up.

So, don’t leave me out here all by myself with the crickets, thinking I’ve totally mortified you. Tell me your favorite fashion for the male appendage, or share your thoughts in any way you feel appropriate. Or in the case of this crowd, inappropriate!


Don't be bashful... This is the Smutty Lair after all... What happens here... Stays here!!!!